Thursday, November 22, 2012

Famous Last Words

It's 2:07 AM. I'm sitting in the Bangalore airport lounge and in a sandwich and ramen-induced comatose, waiting for a flight that won't board for another hour and a half and fighting the desire to fall asleep in this comfortable armchair. It's sobering to acknowledge that this will be my last post from India and my last post on this blog for the foreseeable future.

It's hard to pinpoint how I'm feeling. Joy, regret, relief, panic, anxiety, and uncertainty, perhaps but in what ratios, I'm not sure. I've been thinking of this day for a long time but as always, actually going through the motions of saying goodbye and hugging people I care about and standing together with the unspoken understanding that this is the last time we'll ever all be together in this time and place never quite pans out the way I imagine it will. And my emotions afterwards aren't ever what I expect them to be, either. 

I've done a lot of retrospecting this past week, both personally and professionally. So much so that spending Thanksgiving break in Maryland around family and friends will be a welcome respite from all this thinking and overanalyzing and fretting. I want myself to just be mentally empty for a while. I want to let my guard down and to enjoy myself and to be in a completely safe and familiar environment. I want to let go of clutching the reins of my mind with tight white knuckled fists and just let it drift and wander to where it pleases.

After the break, I'm not sure what awaits me when I fly back to Chicago. I only know that while what the future holds for me is uncertain, my TWU experience has yet again proven to be one heck of a learning experience, for better or for worse. And just like last time, I am a different person leaving Bangalore than I was arriving here. 

My flight is boarding soon - it's time to go and get on with the next adventure, whatever that will be.

Namaste, India. Thank you for your hospitality yet again.


  1. you, my dear, are a good writer.

  2. Enough silent stalking. If this is your last post on this blog for a while, I have to say this: I am glad you came to India, and I am thankful I got to meet you. This has been an enriching experience for all of us. Your being a part of it made it more so.

    In some ways our takeaways have been different, and in some ways, the same. But we all learnt some things about what we do, some things about each other, and some things about ourselves.

    You deserve a break. Well-earned. Enjoy it! Let your hair down.

    Best wishes for all that comes your way, and whatever you reach out for, Rose.

    Till we meet again... on one blog or the other. :)

  3. @ayley: thank you! the more honest the post, the easier the words come...

    @aman: gah. i already miss you so much! thank god for modern technology bridging the long distance between us. as much as it pained me to leave, i'm grateful this thanksgiving for your friendship and for all the positive takeaways from this TWU experience. and i'm definitely enjoying the break at home so far - got nine hours of sleep last night after a huge turkey dinner with the family - hallelujah! :D i'm excited to have you as a new friend in the blogosphere.

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