Thursday, October 25, 2012

A little monologue.

I can hardly believe I've been in India for seven weeks - almost two thirds of my planned time here. I keep trying to recount what I've been doing with my life here but mostly what comes to mind is just tripping on sidewalks and consuming a lot of butter chicken.

Although I am so looking forward to going home to my loved ones in the States (and have been since day one - heck, before I even left the US!), I am also horrified at the thought of leaving this country. What do you mean there's only a month left? How can analyst boot camp already be over? Why does it feel like I've done so much and so little here at the same time? These are the questions that have been leaving me stupefied as of late.

You know those Garfield cartoons where Jon is about to eat a slice of cake and just as he's sat down to enjoy it, eyes closed so as to heighten his palate, a sneaky Garfield comes up from under the table and grabs it off the plate? Jon chomps down on thin air, opens his eyes and we see his face render the horrible realization that what he's been anticipating and expecting is already gone. *insert Nelson "Ha-Ha!" here*

Well, I am Jon. And that cake is my time here at TWU. I'm opening my eyes and seeing only a third of it remaining and it's making me anxious because I cannot fathom it being over. I've been building an incredible rapport with my fellow coaches and coachees (well I think it's incredible. Hopefully they do too, especially if they happen to be reading my blog. Otherwise this is just hella awkward), I can't get enough of the new sights and travels, and I'm in the midst of accomplishing one of my foremost personal goals of being here - validating the learnings and growth I've experienced throughout my journey as a ThoughtWorker by coaching those who are where I was two years ago. Coming back as a trainer has been the last link in the full circle of realizing that 'Hey guys! I do know what I'm talking about!'

Unless one takes the time to step back, it is too easy to not notice how quickly the time here at ThoughtWorks University flies by and how brilliantly we as individuals with places we call home scattered all over the world learn to work with each other in just six tiny teeny little weeks. For me, TWU just feels more alive than any other place I've ever been. More ripe with energy and growth and hope. And more rampant with naivety and ignorance and mistakes, too. Above all else, it is all too fleeting. I remember being immensely depressed on the last day of TWU17 because I knew that it was the last time that all of us were going to be standing together under the same roof ever again. It was just such a sinking, awful feeling that stayed in the pit of my stomach for a long time. I felt cheated somehow of my experience, that my memories and pictures weren't going to do justice to what TWU17 truly meant to me. This time around that dread has been creeping up on me much sooner. Ack! I have to force myself to not think about it too much.

To end on an uplifting note, this weekend I am going on an excursion with some fellow ThoughtWorkers to a safari - wahoo! We're traveling to a protected wildlife area of a national park that's about four hours away to see tigers, sloths, gatrillions of birds, and if we're very, very, very lucky - a big cat. I'm beyond excited for this trip and for all the adventures in near future. And the distant ones too, I suppose. Just thinking about it all can be overwhelming sometimes.

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